Grumpyrocker

What is it with metal videos these days? It's bad enough that Kerrang doesn't bother with metal anymore, instead it panders to kiddies who like that aural abortion nu-metal (a pox on it and all its works) or whiny lamer fake-punk.

At least there's Sky's Skuzz channel that does admit heavy metal exists, ironically playing a lot of the traditional stuff that Kerrang pretends doesn't exist. But I'm rambling here and need to make my point, such as it is.

There's one thing you see in nearly every rock video these days, particularly in the gothier, heavier of nu-er vids. What's that? Saving Private Ryan style camera shake every time a guitarist throws out a power chord.

Rock is the realm of cliches, granted. But this special effect got old real quick. Yet here we are a few years after bands first started doing this, and it's still there in most videos.

It's okay, I've got the point now thanks. Your root-fifth diad played through a Marshall stack is enough to make the world shake, great well done, you and every other poxy lame-punk band.

While I'm having a rant about music I saw a particularly lame rock video today. It was that type of whiny nu-metal/punk kind of thing. You know the type - four skinny white kids with short hair and too much hair-gel. Add some heavy accented punky vocals with a voice that hardly sounds broken and lyrics that are on the level of a Springfield High School rebellion.

The song was called something like "Shut your mouth" and was your typical "hey I'm 15 and I can do what I want" kind of thing. You've never seen packaged rebellion so lame. The band walks into a posh wedding and causes it's own style of rock and roll anarchy. But it was so by the numbers and lame, the antithesis of rock and roll. And although I'd never seen the band before, it was just like every other punky rock band from the US at the moment; shite.

Can't remember the name of the band, but if you've seen any video by bands such as Good Charlotte or Bowling for Soup you know the kind of generic crap I mean. Still it's better than the parade of bands who think it's 1981, with their skinny ties, shit guitar tones and bandname in lights behind them.

Update: Just seen the damn video again. The whiny brats are called A Simple Plan and their shitty song is called Shut Up.